The call I almost didn't answer

I had just asked God a direct question: "What do you want me to do?"

I took a few deep breaths, closed my eyes, and allowed my mind to get quiet so I could listen for an answer.

I didn't hear an audible sound, but the first thing I sensed was a phrase: "Fearless Forward."

I quickly scribbled the words onto the paper.

The pen struck the page like a match - something inside of me lit up.

Lighter fluid colliding with a vulnerable flame.

Suddenly aware of the space it's being called to occupy.

This phrase didn't spark fear in my heart - it sparked curiosity.

And that flame was bright enough for the next step in a season of a lot of uncertainty.

For context on the timing of this journaling session, my dad and I were in the process of transferring ownership of Cumberland Marketing. He had started the business in 1987, and I was preparing to carry it forward after almost 15 years of working alongside him.

The layers of complexity that ownership transition naturally involves were compounded by the fact that it's family. It was a season of tough conversations that pushed each of us into new territories. My journals at the time were full of things like, "I know I'm supposed to do this, but is it supposed to be this hard?" "Are you sure, God?" "I think you might have me confused with someone else."

Hearing a phrase like "Fearless Forward" on the surface seemed encouraging, but my Sunday school story-loving heart knew there's always more underneath.

I remembered the flame (well… burning bush) God used to get Moses' attention.

I had a flame (aka cutesy little phrase scribbled on paper) that God was using to get my attention too.

Then I remembered Moses' response to the flame. A response that came even in his fear, even in the mystery.

Obedience was the response. Moses had zero confidence in himself to carry out his calling and live out his identity - deliverer of a nation (who would?!) - but he obeyed.

Sure, "be still" can be obedience too. But my two scribbled words came with more direction than I'd realized: Forward.

I didn't know all the answers yet in this season of transition, but at least I knew a general direction. Ha!

"Okay, God. Forward, here we come! But Fearless? What would you like me to know about that?"

Spoiler alert: He walked me straight into one of my biggest fears for the answer to that one.

On Monday, December 15th, 2025, I signed papers that would make me the official owner of Cumberland Marketing, effective January 1, 2026.

Four days later, Friday, December 19th, at 11:30 am I got a call letting me know that our largest retainer partnership was ending ...wait for it… as of January 1, 2026.

(Insert complete panic - fear - outrage - you name it. I felt it.)

Now, keep in mind, we're a small business, so no matter what "large retainer client" means to you - just know, it was large enough that there would be a ripple effect. Decisions that would affect the livelihood and dynamic of our team. Decisions you do NOT want to have to make any time of the year, let alone one week before Christmas.

My immediate response, after the wave of shock, came as I like to call a Holy hissy fit. Imagine me staring up in the sky (since he certainly was not right here next to me), shouting obscenities, flailing my arms around… but at least knowing He could handle my honesty.

I sat the rest of the afternoon, staring blankly at my computer screen - partially in denial, partially paralyzed in fear.

I wish I could tell you I whispered a prayer, but I did not.

I chose not to tell anyone on our team that day. I asked to meet this client the following Monday to gain more clarity around the decision, but in my heart I knew it had been settled in a boardroom and was already out of my control.

I needed the weekend to process and determine how I was going to communicate this with our team and vendors.

I needed the weekend to write desperate prayers to manipulate God into fixing this whole situation. I knew I could apologize for the obscenities and come up with a plea before Monday ;)

Closing time came. I smiled and waved, fighting back tears as everyone left to have a great weekend.

Still sitting at my computer, probably frantically looking at spreadsheets, the company phone started ringing.

Keep in mind, it was now past our open hours. I'm feeling super sorry for myself, AND I despise talking on the phone. But when I looked at the caller ID… I recognized the name of the woman calling.

Flashback to about 5 months earlier, I was sitting in her office, listening to her passionately talk about something that would bore most people to sleep, and yet I was on the edge of my seat, committed to doing whatever this woman said because her enthusiasm was contagious! I thought to myself, "This woman... her energy, her excitement, her joy to help me was not just a service she was providing - it was like a gift I was receiving!" and I vividly remember saying to myself, "I wish I could do work with more people like her."

Seeing her name on the caller ID… it all came flooding back.

…"I wish I could do work with more people like her."

Her infectious joy about helping me a few months back left enough of an impression that I had to find out why she was calling. So I answered.

It turned out she needed our services. Our roles had flipped.

And before you get too excited, no - it wasn't going to be a deal that would solve the impending doom of losing the retainer on January 1.

It wasn't the happy ending I was planning on praying for that weekend.

Metaphorically, the Grinch was still going to steal Christmas haha

But it was a deal that God used to teach me that the phrase "Fearless Forward" wasn't going to mean what I thought it would heading into official business ownership.

What's funny is, as she shared with me about what she needed, I noticed something different about her voice. It wasn't the same contagious joy I had remembered overflowing so easily when I had sat in her office a few months ago. I recognized the tone: it was fear.

She was about to take a HUGE leap of faith in her career. One that required some major marketing foundations to be set. And she was afraid because it was completely out of her comfort zone - but smack dab in the middle of mine!

But here's what is so cool in the connected Kingdom of God: where your fear kicks in, someone else's joy gets activated. What she needed - and was terrified to have to solve on her own - was something my team and I could do in our sleep. Something I LOVED to do!!

To her, I bet it sounded like weird infectious joy about my job! Hah!

What I learned about joy then is that it has the ability to override circumstances (yes, even losing a major client), and it flows out of us landing like a gift people didn't even know to ask for.

The joy of sharing what I knew we could do to help her move forward was greater than the fear of what was going to happen on January 1.

As I hung up the phone, I started bawling because even though I hadn't whispered a prayer earlier that day, if I had, it would have been that God would just remind me that there are people out there who still need me - not me as in Tori Humphreys, but me as in the Child of God who finds immense joy organizing in ways that move others forward.

I would have prayed that God would teach me, no matter how painful, that "Fearless Forward" is a call to say yes to a journey of becoming who we're called to be, not just what we're called to do. It starts like a little flame; it illuminates only a step at a time, but what it sparks is a lifetime of curiosity to explore what is quite literally knit together in your DNA.

Cumberland Marketing is not my identity (thank you, Jesus). I see it as a vessel that God has entrusted to me, employed by people who have a unique calling of their own - to creatively surround others with their gifts in ways that move them forward.

Practically speaking, we are a vessel for building marketing foundations. Branding, websites, videos. But deeper than that, we're called to serve people who are saying yes to a Fearless Forward in their own lives. Yes to the things that bring them crazy amounts of joy. And yes in spite of the pressures to conform. The marketing foundations we build are as unique as the people called to build upon them. We surround people in a way that honors not just what they're doing, but who they're becoming in the process.

You know, I love a good tagline, but I can't take credit for this one.

I pray that what was divinely sparked in my heart through the phrase Fearless Forward lights up something deep inside of yours.

In a nutshell, Fearless Forward is simply this:

Courageous movement toward your calling, propelled by the One who calls you by name.